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Sam 'n Dean ELAC

June 2017

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Sam 'n Dean ELAC

My Thoughts On SPN's The Purge

Last night's Supernatural seriously left me feeling depressed. It seems a large number of people have forgotten the basic premise of this show, including Sam. But I'll get to that in a moment. First, let me get a few things off my chest.

Since when is Dean the bad guy in all of this? Why is it suddenly all on him to shoulder the blame for everything bad that has happened? Did we forget that it was Gadreel that betrayed & tricked Dean? Dean thought this was an angel he could trust, one that Cas had given his approval of and said was trustworthy--so don't go blaming Kevin's death on Dean. And the closing of the gates? All Sam. I'm sorry, but he made that choice. He didn't have to listen to Dean. If he was ready to die, if he really wanted to complete the trials, all he had to do was continue with them.

Also, Sam is the one who convinced Dean he wanted to live. How was Dean to know Sam was ready to die? Sam took on the trials under the whole premise that he wanted to live and that he wanted to show Dean there was a light at the end of the tunnel. All Sam has done since is take away the light that keeps Dean going. When Gadreel appeared to Sam as Dean, Sam chose to live AGAIN. If he really wanted to die, he could have denied him and walked peacefully away with Death. Gadreel couldn't do anything without his consent. Sam didn't want to die either of those times--seems like its just a convenient guilt trip to lay on Dean.

No way Show or anyone else is going to convince me that Dean has caused more harm than good (wow, this coming from Sam who has the innocent blood of people on his hands via the demon blood AND soulless Sam? Talk about more harm than good--but Dean forgave him and supported him through that). Wasn't it Sam who told Dean in What Is and What Should Never Be that what Dean does was worth it? That what Dean does is worth all the pain and sacrifice because he saves people? Sam has encouraged Dean to continue to make the choices he makes over and over. Sam has been an agent in the decisions that Dean has made. Even in Sacrifice, he put Dean in the position of swearing that Dean would always put Sam first no matter what. And now Sam wants to renege on that?  After his big sob scene about how he wants to be important to Dean?

And Dean, selfish? Dean makes sacrifices only when it doesn't hurt him? The man has been making sacrifices his entire life for Sam and others that have wounded him in the deepest ways possible. He's given his childhood, his soul, his death, his love, his future, his whole life and everything at much cost to himself for Sam and others over and over.

Dean went to Hell for Sam--I'm pretty sure that damaged him forever and ever. Dean made sacrifices for Sam growing up that hurt him all the time--some of its canon now (Bad Boys? Something Wicked?). Dean sacrificed Lisa and Ben for their own good at a great deal of hurt to himself. Dean wanted to say yes to Michael, not because of any benefit for himself, but because he wanted to save the world. Sam was the one who said no and then turned around and did the same exact thing. There's no reason Dean could not have said yes to Michael with the same result as Sam's yes. But Sam took that away from him. Stole Dean's "agency" to make that selfless sacrifice (because Dean wasn't doing it to redeem himself). That whole time period was about Sam begging Dean to live for him. Because the world was better with them in it together and because he didn't want to do it without Dean. What happened to that Sam?

Dean killed Benny, someone he considered his brother, for Sam and you could see the cost of that sacrifice all over Dean's face. Again, Dean wanted to do the trials, which was a selfless sacrifice on Dean's part, no avoiding pain for Dean there--I could keep going on and on.

How dare Sam say that to Dean when Sam's always been about making sacrifices to ease his guilt trips or to "redeem" himself in some way--'cause, yeah, that's totally selfless. Is Sam maybe projecting?

But, yeah, people think Sam was 100% correct in what he said.

More than that, though, what exactly is this show based on? Because I was under the impression that it was about family and doing anything for family. I thought the whole premise of this show was based on the idea that Sam and Dean would do anything for each other and also for their friends. And now all of a sudden people think this is WRONG? That it's unhealthy? Well, maybe it is unhealthy in real life, but this is the whole foundation of a show that is anything but realistic. Since when did we want Sam and Dean's relationship to be like everyone else? Since when did everyone decide that the whole foundation of the show was wrong and wanted it to be changed?

If Dean is wrong for his choices, then this whole show has been a big farce, a big waste of time. We've spent years being told that family was above all, that love was most important, that Dean and Sam would always save each other no matter what. Anyone recall All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2? Swan Song? Anyone? And now we are saying that's wrong? Really? If that's the case, then I'm ready for the show to end. Just end it now before the entire thing is completely ruined beyond repair.

People are asking for the basic premise of the entire series to be changed under the guise of a more healthy relationship, which, apparently consists of a Sam and Dean who are ghosts of their former selves. In my opinion, the only thing that's been "wrong" with Sam and Dean's relationship is the fact that it's been too one-sided for far too long. The only thing that needs to be "fixed" is how Sam doesn't get a chance to show us he loves Dean too (if that's even true anymore). Instead, Sam's become increasingly indifferent and cold toward Dean in the name of a "healthy" relationship and "progress."

What's been wrong about their dynamic is how SAM asks Dean to sacrifice OTHERS to focus solely on HIM. Cas, Benny, whoever. If Sam could learn to let Dean have friends and not manipulate Dean into a corner where he feels he must CHOOSE, then the problem of people being thrown off a ledge in the name of Sam and Dean's relationship wouldn't be an issue. Sam's the one who constantly needs Dean to pull his bacon out of the fire, to save him over and over. Even the fans have put the onus of Sam's salvation on Dean's shoulders, expecting him to play the big brother role and only that role. And Sam's all too happy to let him when it suits him. If Sam wants Dean to let him go, treat him like an equal, then Sam needs to step up to that plate and start swinging at the curve balls thrown his way. He needs to own his mistakes and support Dean like an adult. You are only a victim if you let yourself be one. Be a survivor, Sam, not a victim.

Its not Dean's great love for Sam that's the problem. Okay? So just get off Dean's back. He's only done what was expected from him all along. Sam has made sure Dean was alone, only focused on Sam and now he suddenly doesn't want it? Well, screw that. You begged for it, you got it. Lay in the bed you made. And let's not forget that Sam has had a healthy hand in perpetuating lies, deception and taking away the agency of others--he really shouldn't be pointing fingers. People in glasses houses, man.

As for that mythical healthy relationship--is that what we really want? We suddenly want Winchesters who let their sibling die? Who won't make sacrifices? Who won't go to extremes in the grand name of love? Really? Then exactly why have we been watching this show all this time? We knew the deal going into this show and its a complete cop out to decide Dean's all wrong for making those choices. Dean's wrong for being the big brother everyone loved so much, that he wasn't allowed to be anything else.

I don't know where all this will lead, but, right now, I don't know what show I'm watching anymore and I don't understand the glee over last night's gut-wrenching talk. It went against everything this show is supposed to be about. Everything Kripke promised us it would always be about. Family is the theme of the show--family above all (and by family, I don't mean just family by blood). Its a little late to be saying the whole theme was all wrong and bad, bad, bad. Take that away, then every episode prior falls down like a stack of cards.


Loved yor post ... and I am not surprised that Sam fans are lapping it up. This season I have read that Dean basically let Sam be raped by the Angel, that Dean abuses Sam and now this latest. Its why I stay away from anywhere that is purely Sam orientated.

Sam for me has always been self centred whereas Dean has always put others first. Exactly what John taught him to do since he was 4. What I did see last night from Sam was new aspect, Jealousy. His comment about Dean being the hero reeked of it.

I am only hoping that Dean having the 'mark' will be the thing that changes Sams attitude. That Dean will be in mortal peril and we will see Sam realise his errors and save his big brother.

But for now I wish that Dean would leave (yes I know, leave the only place he calls home) instead hanging around like an abused puppy which it looks like he will be doing next episode.

Sam hit all Deans buttons last night like he knew he would with those comments ... my final thought ... who is really abusing whom, cause it certainly isn't Dean doing the abusing.
The scary thing is, it's not just Sam fans--other fans are in favor of it based solely on some misguided desire for a "healthy" relationship. They see this as a necessary step in "fixing" Sam and Dean's codependency.

But I don't see Dean being the primary problem here--as you said, it's Sam's verbal abuse and manipulation. Furthermore, I don't watch the show for realistic, healthy relationships. My only problem with the relationship is how one-sided it is. </p>

Whole thing makes me depressed.

Thank you for this...will be pimping on my ElJay.

But I knew this was coming. He quit hunting and settled in with a chick who was just as treacherous as him, just as whimsical and left Kevin to dangle...and now he wants to lay all of his guilt at Dean's feet and blame him for everything.

We he is right about one thing - and he's proven it. If the positions were reversed, he wouldn't do a damned thing. Bobby would have been so damned angry and disappointed in Sam because of this. He died so they could still live, still be a family - he died AS family.

I'm frigging pissed off and dismayed. Sam needs his fucking ass beat. WTF...

*Hugs you tight*

You are not alone in this, bb...
Thank you, I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. Give me a sec and I'll go make this public so you can share.

I knew something was up with Carver's Sam last year, too. I mean, OUR Sam would have looked for Dean at the least. But, I'll be honest, I never expected Sam to be this cruel. Not ever. These last two episodes have gutted me--and that's saying something because I've felt mostly negative about Sam and the one-sided relationship since Ruby happened.

The pain on Dean's face? I just couldn't. It hurt ME to hear those words and it was like desecration to hear Sam accuse Dean of being selfish--of making sacrifices only when it didn't hurt him. That he done more harm than good and, basically, all the bad things were Dean's fault. I mean, how could Sam say that to DEAN, of all people? I just can't get over it. How could anyone who knows Dean, who loves him, say those things?

Honestly, I don't miss Bobby that much because he was bad about giving Dean boo-hoo, princess speeches, but at this time, I'd love him to come back and whoop Sam into the ground because Sam has lost all perspective.

Some seem to think all this is to push Dean into being dark because, if this doesn't break Dean, what could? But if so, I'd like to know how the writers plan on bring Sam back from this. This is pretty big and they've never been good at fixing these kinds of things.

*hugs you tight back*

It just so depressing. :(
Thank you! I feel exactly the way you do right now and I never would have thought anything would shake my faith in show. I am so upset right now....
*Hugs you*
Well, I've let this whole thing bother me way more than I should. I know its a show, but this has really upset me. I just couldn't with last night's speech. I felt like Dean looked. And, in that moment, I wanted to make Sam eat his words. To grovel for Dean's forgiveness and regret every single hurtful word. I'm almost at the point I'd be okay with Dean completely losing it and just going psycho on Sam. I wish Sam could see how much worse his life would've been without Dean there.

I am so sick of people saying Dean is controlling. Dean is only controlling for, like, the two seconds the writers make him OOC to prove their point. There is no real set up for that kind of thought. Dean may boss Sam sometimes, but he's not controlling. Dean has never been abusive toward Sam in that way. However, Sam is very dangerously close to being very verbally abusive to Dean and definitely manipulative. And yet, Dean's the bad guy?

I just can't with this. :(
I agree, Sam didn't didn't make sure Dean was really gone but instead him feeling bad it was Dean that was told that is what was right. No matter what Sam does Dean forgives him. Sneaking out to meet a demon? Hello? Was that trying to save Dean? No it was Sam wanting revenge and willing to let Dean go to get it. I really want Dean to say you know I am out of here. I would like to see Sam make the move to show us that Dean matters to him. Remember all the time Sam leaves? All the time he chooses wrong even when Dean & Bobby are telling him stop. Remember Lucifer got out because Sam was so sure he was the better hunter and he knew what he was doing was right. And he feels he let Dean down - well he did.

I also want Dean to stand up and say think what you want, do what you want, you always do but this time I'm not waiting for you. Find me or not up to you and he leaves.

Sam knows how to manipulate Dean, he has been doing it his whole life. Dean raised Sam, how can you let you brother/son go when you can stop it? How can you just let them die when they have so much more living to do. I couldn't.

I keep hoping Sam will show some of the same love Dean has for him but I am not sure he can get past his ego to see What Dean is all about - giving his all for his family.
Lynn from Fangasm is the only blogger I've seen that came even close to making a reasonable review of the episode. She, at least, is willing to admit maybe we don't WANT Sam and Dean to have a "healthy" relationship b/c we don't watch for reality. But the other thing she hits on that really resonates for me is she points out how, to Dean, Sam is more like a child than a sibling. That his need to protect Sam and keep him alive is akin to a parent's need to do the same for their kids--and its not about being "alone."

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I don't think Dean is afraid of being alone (at least, he seemed to thrive in Purgatory w/out Sam), but Dean can't stand for Sam to die. He just can't and I understand his need to keep Sam alive.

I don't know what's going on with this show, but I hope they fix it pretty darn quick. I'm tired of Dean being the bad guy when he's only done what's right and what's expected of him.


From the very first conversation at the beginning, I was grinding my teeth. When Dean mentioned what he'd been up doing all night and capped off the list with 'researching the mark of Cain' and Sam didn't so much as flinch, grrrrrr, seriously?

The beginning and that horrid, acidic scene at the end, this was plain and simple verbal manipulation on Sam's part. Sam is far better with words, and Dean is at a distinct disadvantage every time, but to hear some of the things Sam said, I. Was. Fuming.

The opening scene, ohmygod... As Sam has pointed out, he’s been following Dean around since he was four trying to be just like his big brother and he knows Dean better than anyone – maybe even Dean. Sam wasn’t actually asking Dean if he was okay. He knows damned well that Dean isn’t okay. He knows that what he told Dean about not being brothers is eating away at him. It’s a knife in Dean’s heart just as it was in his when Dean said that Benny was a better brother than Sam had ever been. Bringing the issue up, isn’t about Sam reiterating that he’s “just being honest.” It was a twist of the knife.

Right away that set the tone, that exchange; for all the physical violence Dean's ever perpetrated, even against Sam when he's hit him a number of times, it's the words that do the most damage. How Dean didn't end up eating a bullet by the end of this episode is beyond me.

Then, as the bad monster is gone and the brother's debate about what to do with Marissa, or Maritza (however that's spelled), Sam jumps back in it with the worst argument ever in his comparison to his own possession by Gadreel and if that had gotten him killed by some other hunter and would that have been fair?

Good god. Are you kidding me? The comparisons weren't even remotely close! He was possessed and not in control of his body. A better comparison would have been when he was addicted to demon blood, but he chooses the more recent situation, and I think it’s because Dean caused it. Sam KNOWS Dean won't say “yes” – even though they kill innocent vessels all the time – because Dean still won’t admit that what he did was wrong.

Sam is trying to break Dean down, it's clear to see. But my god. Really? He's doing it in the most abhorrent way and far worse than any monster could EVER break him. I dunno, perhaps we need some of show from Sam's pov because I really am finding it hard to understand how ANYBODY can stick up for the guy.

Again. He knows Dean and how to push his buttons. He's manipulating him and assaulting him verbally, cutting with all the precision of a surgeon. Why the hell did Dean go back to hunting with him?? I don't get that. At. All.

After that conversation from last week about them hunting and not being brothers, Dean should have left Sam's ass in that parking lot. Of course we knew he wouldn't but I don't think there was any reason for what he ended up doing!! I DO NOT GET IT!!! Is that just senseless writing????? Since there is no reason any person would have after words like those, I can only assume that yes, terrible writing.

And then to that last, ending conversation, the final knife, or scalpel to Dean's already eviscerated soul. I can't even rehash that.. it's just too awful to recant.

Re: PART 2

So where does this leave us? Well, I know where it leaves me. I don't deal with Sam girls and you shouldn't either. You will NEVER get any kind of rational or real-heart thinking from that group. Wherever you saw Sam girls and others cheering what Sam said, they obviously have no soul. Never, go there again. Seriously. I certainly don't.

One gal commented on another review post, and said it best: "any inconsistencies or gaps I chalk up to the new writing crew not being able to operate a DVD player past season seven. I think a lot of this conflict is bad writing. I mean. Really bad.

If this were Kripke writing it, or Sera, I would trust that the pretzels they were twisting the boys into had a purpose or a logic. With Carver, I get a sense of a spoiled kid in a sandbox, moving and throwing things wherever he wants. I don't believe Sam's argument, Sam has never been so cruel. I don't think Dean is scared to be alone. As you said a lot of the comparison's aren't true parallels (because there is no corporate memory past season eight.... I don't think there is much intelligence directing the storyline these days."

Now what? Well, how about a prediction: I'm going out on a limb here and say that I believe we're nearing the end and not just of the season 9, but of the show.

We won't get any brotherly makeup or apology this year. The brothers are going to come to a point at the end of 9 where Dean is sick, something to do with the mark of Cain, and it's killing him. No longer hiding things, Dean will tell Sam and Sam will feign shock, dismay-- whatever the hell that looks like on him any more. Then BOOM! End of season 9.

Season 10: We see stead-fast Sam, trying to have the courage of his convictions, trying to 'ease Dean's passing' while they hunt, and trying to come to terms as to what it means to be a brother and accept the others faults (because you know, Sam is perfection personified...*SARCASM*) and still love, or continue being the worthless motherf**ker that canon has now established that he is. So he soldiers on all brave faced while Dean continues to have good days and bad, until the bad outnumber the good, and on the bad, he finds a way to help Dean without being too brotherly and caring and all that nonsense.

Midway point of 10: boys find out it's the mark that's killing Dean and if they can remove it, he'll live. So they are busy trying to find a way to remove the mark of Cain without killing Dean. No luck, though and Dean gets more ill, much closer to death. Finale: Dean's on his death bed, Sam apologizes, Dean accepts and takes his last breath. Sam cries. *curtain*

And you know what? I would be just fine with that. I am so sick of the show's bad writing and maligning and manipulating and I'm ready for Jensen to have a better career than this. Like, seriously ready. And that kind of ending works for me. Leave Sam alone and brother-less, oh but hey, he'll always have his high horse and his convictions! *sarcasm*
You don't know me but I totally have to comment on your awesome entry because it's EXACTLY what I've been feeling about the show....

So now there's all this blame on Dean's shoulders from the Gadreel issue, and everything else that's ever gone wrong in their lives apparently, when all he's ever tried to do is that's right thing, at great personal cost each and every time. Dean has sacrificed parts of himself, for everyone he loves and for people he doesn't even know, so that he's so broken inside that he can't see a happy end for myself anymore.

And Sam KNOWS this and yet he still says they can't be brothers anymore and that everything bad that's ever happened is Dean's fault (that whole 'family excuse' speech was a totally passive aggressive way of blaming Dean for everything, IMO)!! And then to say Dean only ever takes risks and makes sacrifices when he can't get hurt...WHAT??!! How could Sam say that after everything Dean has done for him, and fucking sacrificed for him in his life. Dean gave up his childhood for Sam and then his chance at a normal life when Sam came back all soulless and screwed up...after damn near killing himself looking for a way to free Sam.

So, even though Sam knows Dean's pretty much careering towards (maybe already in) a suicidal mindset, he still proceeds to take everything Dean has away from him - their relationship and Dean's mission. Coz if everything Dean does is for himself, then he's not actually the 'good man' , the hero, he's wants so badly to be. (He totally is, obviously, Dean just can't see it in myself, and Sam's not freaking helping with that). So is Sam trying to make his brother fucking want to kill himself, or what?

So, yeah, I'm kind of pissed at Sam right now...have been since he didn't bother to get off his ass and look for Dean, tbh. And I'm pissed at fandom for labeling Dean as abusive, I mean WTF?, when everything he's ever done for Sam is to try to keep him safe, and I'm pissed at fandom for suddenly finding their co-dependency so awful. It's what the show is, and always has been, isn't it? Sure, I wish they could find other people to be happy with, but let's face it, Dean is never going to put anyone before Sam and maybe that's not fair to anyone else. I'd be quite happy for them to grow old together, riding around in the impala and hunting demons till they both die of old age...

Oh, and as for the Gadreel problem. Yes, Dean made a mistake. He trusted someone he shoulder have done...but...BUT what other choice did he have? Sam would've died without him doing that, and I'm never going to be able to condemn him for that. And if Sam really wanted to die, why doesn't he just throw myself in front of a demon - there's gotta be thousands who'd love to rip him apart. Or why didn't he just complete the freaking trials then and Close the gates of hell if he really wanted to die??!! Urghh...so mad at him.

I want the Sammy back who almost drunk himself to death when Dean died, who was contemplating turning Dean into a fucking zombie just to keep him with him, who looked so fucking devastated when that clock chimed and the hellhounds came for his brother. When did Dean suddenly lose his position as 'most important person in Sam's life'...I honestly don't know when that happened...and why??!

Sorry, for my rant...feel free to totally ignore me...I just loved your post...
Thank you so much for this. This is not a healthy relationship that show seems to be striving for. Rather they have showed Sam to be an abuser. First he isolates Dean, then he puts Dean down for doing exactly what Sam asked for.

Dean cannot win. If this were a friend of mine, I would be going for an intervention!
A-freaking-men, sister. You said all of that so much better than I did on my LJ post. I was too upset to do much else but complain, heh. So thank you, on behalf of all of the outraged Dean fans, for pointing all of this truth out. I really hope Sam goes back to being Sam and this douchebag version of him hits the road...
Yes, agreed, more than ready for Sam to go back to being a more normal version of Sam. But, mostly? Ready for the writers to stop manufacturing all this unneeded drama! They need to get down to the business of having Sam and Dean kick butt as a team rather than each other. :(
This excellent post was pimped to me, and I'm so glad I read it while nodding emphatically the entire time. Thank you for this. I must link it in my own LJ because there's no way I can say it better than you have. :)
*blushes* Thank you. And thanks for stopping by, I'm glad to see so many people feel the same way. :)
Absolutely agree with everything you said. Nothing to add. This should be posted all over the wall of the writer's room in size 42 Font.
Hopefully this will get to the main thread because this post deserves all the praise it can get. I have cited it on Facebook because it so hit home for me. Thank you!
Word to that!
But I hope, I need this to be not the show's POV but just sam's POV. There's no surprise for me that it's sam who sees Dean and what he's done like this. Sam always despised everything Dean's done, always belittle him and his doings. So there's no surprise he thought that Dean did more harm than good.
Does the show see things the same way? That's the question for me so far.
From the whole debacle I expect the show to tell us that it's sam who was wrong saying those nasty ungrateful things not Dean.
And if show will side with sam there than i'll be totally agree with you here.

And i'm one of those fans who wants their relationship to become healthier.
But not in a way to let one die. I want it for Dean. For him to fight his codependency to be able to see sam with open eyes, to be able to finally live his own life and not just be there for sam. We all know Dean won't stop to be a big brother and hunter and savior if he starts to value himself. And that's what I want for him. Cause with no change it always will be a saga of sam manipulating Dean into something sam wants and then blaming him for that. And i'm sick and tired of it.
Yes, I am also waiting to see if this will be Sam's POV or the show's POV. Its not clear yet, but if it is show's POV, we've got a real problem here--because Dean is the heart and moral compass of the whole show. If he's wrong...eh, I don't wanna be right. ;)

As for the rest, I would like Dean to see value in himself, I hate that he thinks he's a killer. I would like to see him stand up to Sam when Sam's trying to manipulate him and go his own way when he needs to--but, deep down inside, its Dean's lack self worth that I identify with most, so I don't want to see it completely resolved (mostly, I don't think it can). But it would be nice to see him surround himself with people who valued him. And, I still really want to see show fix most of it by fixing Sam.

I will admit to you I had a lot of problems with the way Swan Song and those last few season 5 episodes went down, but something they did right was Sam finally supporting his brother by believing in him (PONR). If the show would write Sam as someone who loved his brother, supported his brother and valued his brother the way Dean does him--I'd be good. I don't see a problem w/them making grand gestures for each other--but I do have a problem with how one-sided it is and how Sam doesn't seem to respect Dean at all.

I realize that, to varying degrees, Sam has always been ungrateful, spoiled and selfish--but there was a time when I actually believed Sam loved his brother even if they viewed family in different ways. These days, I have a hard time believing Sam loves Dean at all. He spends too much time trying to get away from Dean or acting like he resents Dean's presence. Its very depressing to see someone so worthy of respect and love like Dean treated so badly.

Let's hope the show gets it right.
I so agree with you!

How can these fans see Sam expressing healthy anger when, in fact, he is deconstructing Dean in a calculated and devious way? It boggles the mind. I'm so glad I found someone who sees through Sam like I do. I was starting to feel kind of alone out there.

Rock On!
No, you are not alone. I've found a good handful of people on Twitter to tweet with who basically feel the same way. Its too bad we can't all find each other and congregate to show a solid support for Dean.

I don't see how anyone could think what Sam is doing is healthy. It is never healthy to deny your own responsibilities in the decisions you make and its not healthy to attack someone you're supposed to love in the ways you know are most painful for them.

I wonder why no one seems to remember that Sam never seemed to have a problem with not going through w/the trials between the time he left the hospital and up until Gadreel was kicked out?
Thanks for this. I don't know what Carver and the writers are thinking but I'm sure they think it makes Sam look mature. It doesn't, it makes Sam look like what he's always been, a brother who does not appreciate what his sibling has done for him, how much he has sacrificed and how Sam himself could have made Dean's life better if the didn't stop demanding stuff from Dean, and when Dean delivers what he thinks Sam wants, Sam changes his mind and complains.

I don't see a brotherly bond. I haven't in a long time. But the writers don't seem to know what a brother is, or what a loving relationship is like. Sadly, it makes Sam a douchbag and Dean an abused person who cannot seem to break the horrible and destructive cycle.
See? And this is why I'm worried about this whole thing. I mean, even though I don't think Sam's speech was in any way justified, I could almost be okay if it was put there in order to break Dean down for some purpose that furthers Dean's storyline...especially if they proved how wrong Sam is about his brother some time later and made him take responsibility for it for a change.

But just about the time I convince myself this could be, I remember all the ways things have been ruined and flubbed in the last several years. I don't have a lot of confidence in these writers/show runner. Because of that lack of confidence, I really don't trust them to handle this whole thing in a satisfactory way.

As of right now, I don't see a brotherly bond either--but I constantly dream for what I know could be possible if only the writers/JC would pull their heads out of their butts and write it that way.

Nice to see you're still around, btw. :)
You hit the nail on the head--I want a fictional relationship with over-the-top brother love. I wouldn't want to see it in real life, but this is fiction!
Well, you know, the initial draw of this show was seeing two brothers willing to sacrifice themselves for each other. Who moved in such sync with one another, they were the perfect partners against evil. I miss that a lot.
I would so love for the show's writers to read this post! Perfect summary of everything that's going wrong.
Well, thanks--but I'm not sure how much difference it would make even if they did. They didn't seem to be phased by the Twitter meltdown after that last episode. Idk. Only they know what's in their minds--I have no clue whats going on in their heads.
Thank you for verbalising everything I'd been thinking since I saw that episode so perfectly.

This entire show has been built on 'family' and for Sam to say that they aren't any more destroys the entire premise.
And like you I was dumbfounded(well, I was- you managed to marshal your thoughts beautifully; but you get my meaning,right?) when Sam chose to compare him being possessed by an angel to ask if he was a monster, 'coz: Hello, you were on demon-blood AND soul-less at different points of time; and no, you weren't a 'monster' then, but right now? he's worse than any of the monsters the brothers have faced.
Him 'telling' Dean that all Dean's ever done had been for himself was quite frankly the final straw.
(although I ADORED the expression of wordless hurt on Dean's face at the accusation)

Right now, he's proving himself to be better than Alistair at breaking Dean; because he may deny it all he wants, but those words are bound to hurt.
And we all know that Dean's been broken before; and while Sam may imagine he 'knows' Hell cause he went to the pit; most of us forget that Cas took on his 'memories' or whatever to 'heal' him. And while Dean got a brand new body to show for his li'l trip downstairs, he never got the relief of a mind-wipe.

And I can't help but wish for something that would finally clue Sam in to just how much Dean's suffered for him. (Did we forget Dean expression when he mentioned Sam's Flagstaff escapade? From what I gathered; Sam didn't have a clue to what'd happened when 'Dad came home'-) and I'd like to believe that Dean had shielded him from that. As he's bound to have done countless other times. And Sam accuses that man of being selfish.
*shakes head*

Anyway; before I ramble more, thanks for sharing this; really needed to see there are others who share my opinion on 'The Purge'.
Also, don't forget, Sam may have been stuck in the cage w/Lu and his mind games, but when Dean went to Hell, his sole purpose there was to be broken. I know a lot of people deny it, but my personal opinion is that Dean withstood more because he was tortured with the express goal of being broken.

But, regardless, I think you and I agree that Dean has been suffering in some form for Sam for his entire life. He's given up everything and it just makes me furious to see Sam not only not appreciate that, but deny it.

Oh yes, there are definitely people out there who felt so angry with Sam. My Twitter timeline went nuts. Of course, I follow a bunch of hardcore Dean girls, so I'm not sure how widespread it was overall.
Excellent post. I have always found Sam to be self-absorbed, but in the past he had moments of quite dazzling love for his brother. He even, occasionally, registered that Dean had done remarkable, extraordinary things to help his family, and that Dean himself did not recognise his own goodness. That Sam? Long gone, to the extent that it's difficult to imagine the current Sam ever giving Dean one of his rare pep speeches. This Sam has all his worst characteristics fore grounded - his tendency towards sanctimony, his readiness to condemn - and none of the moral perspicacity we were encouraged to believe he had in S1. The characterisation if Sam since the beginning of S8 has seriously dented my love for the show, and I don't know if I will keep fronting for it if it becomes the Dean As Bad Guy Show. That desecrates everything the show has been for the first 7 years.
Yes, I agree, while Sam has always had some of these less than stellar tendencies, there was a time when he would have those moments that would make you believe that he did love Dean despite his lapses into self absorption. It helped balance him out so that you found things about him to like and root for. Ever since season 8, though, its like all those good points have been all but erased from the character and all that is left is a very cold, very egotistical character that is very hard to like at all. Its really sad to see the show come to this after everything--I'm hoping with everything that they've really tricked us into false apprehension and at some point we'll see that there was a good reason for all this. I hope I'm wrong and Carver sees that the way he's portraying Sam isn't mature, but extremely immature and unlikable.

I also agree that if the show goes the way of trying to make Dean out as the bad guy, I don't know if even my passionate devotion to Jensen will keep me watching. The only thing that gives me real hope (because I don't really trust Carver and his team of writers at this point) is Jensen himself. We all know how protective he is of Dean and I feel like he would fight against such a thing. I'm hoping that he set a few things straight at that meeting with the writers in November and I hope they listened.

Apologies if this was rambling and repetitive--its kinda late and I'm needing to go to bed, my brain is not fresh or perky at all, lol!

Edited at 2014-02-12 05:13 am (UTC)
I am so glad to have found this post! Thanks for expressing my thoughts better than I could ever have done.

I've been to many sites and seen the comments about a "healthy" relationship and blah blah Sam and his "righteous" anger and they make me want to scream! This is the first post I've seen that hasn't tiptoed around Sam and his supposed deserved feelings. I'm tired of hearing about Sam and his feelings truthfully. I think it's because the writers have now made Sam so self-absorbed and full of himself that I can't find anything redeeming in him anymore! I basically just want to punch him most of the time. ;)

I'm just left to wonder, like the others here, who the hell is the character Jared Padalecki is playing? Sam Winchester was always a self centered snot but he loved his brother. This guy is not Sam Winchester. Maybe the demon blood killed the Sam I used to know, it's been that long since we've seen him.

Ugh. A week later and I'm still pissy so I think I'll stop my ranting and raving and just repeat a big thank you for your post!