I gotta say, I worked hard on that thing--HARD. It takes about three hours for me to churn out a mere 1,200 words because I have to take so many mini-breaks. I have such a hard time maintaining that kind of focus when I write, I have to stop every so often and browse the internet or get up and do something else for about five minutes and then I get back to it. Sundays and Wednesdays I didn't really write at all because I'm just not home for long enough blocks of time. So, my daily goal was about 2,800 words to make up for that fact...it was not easy to sit and write that many words some days. Some days, it flew and was easy to hit that goal, but many days I had to MAKE myself sit still and stick with it. Really painful sometimes--almost in a physical way--to make your mind and body do something it's resisting so hard. And it meant a lot to me that not only did I do that, but that this story was finally getting somewhere, that I could finally call this dinosaur complete.
So that's why I didn't make a big deal of "winning." I was afraid to see how few people would be happy with me--I just didn't want to feel disappointed. I even had thoughts about not posting the rest of the story here since only a handful of people (literally) seem to care. My last few posts are pretty barren and I thought, why should I post all that hard work after such a dismal lack of support? But that was wrong--I never said I was perfect. Sometimes I make mistakes and let myself indulge in unfair, petty emotions. It was a moment of weakness I am not proud of. As soon as I thought those things, though, I knew I couldn't do that to the handful of you who are supportive and who have stuck with me despite the long dry spell. After all, its not your fault everyone else bailed (and I'm not talking about casual readers, I'm talking about people I thought were my friends and not just readers). Plus, it would forever bug me to leave it only half finished here. So once it is beta'd, I will finish posting it both at FF.net and here--it would be just plain wrong to do anything else.
I can't say its my best writing ever--and it makes me a little sad I wasn't able to take the time and care I so wanted to put into this story--but as long as it gets finished, that's all that matters at this point. I don't know what the future of my fic writing looks like. I guess it depends on how I feel after all this is done. I have a few other stories I've started and never posted here on my laptop. I might finish those, but I promise nothing. Once "What Comes After" is done and posted, my energy will shift back to refining my original story I started during last year's NaNo. I really found writing original fiction freeing. There were no "voices" to try to capture and I didn't have to worry about canon or any of those things. I enjoyed that freedom. Of course, there are pitfalls when transistioning from fanfiction to original fiction as I addressed earlier, but overall, I really found the original fiction to be easier in some ways and I want to finish what I started. Where I go after that, I really don't know.
Anyway, that's my update. I hope this finds you all doing well and in good health. Thanks to all of you who have listened and commented and supported me through this story and everything else as well. *hugs to you all*